Today has been a rough day. It happens every summer now. When ever I pass a mirror and look into it I silently (ok, not always so silent) say “I hate you”, sometimes it’s more like “I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!). Do you have this same problem?
It comes from
being over weight and other physical things I dislike sooooooo much about
myself. You say go on a diet, and I answer thanks I already know that but since
I self medicate my anxiety with food that doesn’t really work. I am trying. I’m
back on the elliptical 25 - 30 minutes a day but controlling my eating has
become really hard. There was a time I NEVER ate when I knew I was going out. I
was so worried I’d barf or just feel sick since my anxiety tends to revolve
around how my gut feels. But thanks to therapy I now can sometimes eat, not a
lot when I’m going out and more on the way home. Then there’s the stress eating
that comes with knowing I’ll be going out. It’s not good and I’m not sure how
to get control of it. If I don't depression will set in and all I'll do is eat.
I guess I’ll get out all the diet books and have a look at some web sites (maybe 3 fat chicks again).
Another thing that will set off the hates is being short. Being only 5 foot sucks in a world of high shelves in stores. That’s on my mind ‘cause I’ll be heading out later to grocery shop.
Maybe I’ll start wearing dresses instead of long shorts and capris. Loose ones will hide some of the chunkiness but will they only make me look shorter.....hmmmmm
I just needed to vent so thanks for reading :)
