I was out yesterday and while driving I had to keep reminding myself to pay attention (not easy with my brain), that other drivers did not want go school zone slow while I was looking around. Driving is a rough time for me as I’m not the most confident driver, ok make that I’m an anxiety filled driver. I try to keep my mind on where I am and not on what’s going in the fantasy filled part of my brain but it doesn’t always work. I swear the jerk thingy always wants to think about everything but driving. Super scary when you’re driving and all of a sudden you realize you are further down the road than you last remember. Lucky for me (and other drivers) I don’t live in a place that’s extremely busy with cars most of the time. I use the radio to try to pay attention which works until I hate the song that just came on and I HAVE to change the channel and the presets all are against me ‘cause they all have ads or terrible songs or really annoying DJs. Good thing I don’t have a cell, too.
You think cells are distracting? What about all the blooming
flowers and trees starting in the spring? Everything outside has been so blah.
Talking about the middle of the states to north, not you lucky ones in the deep
south that get all panicky over a minor frost and have never seen real snow.
Well maybe a dusting but that doesn’t count ‘cause it’s like frost on a bit of steroids.
So anyway, flowers in the spring make me slow down when I’m
driving (remember I mentioned it in the first sentence? No? Go ahead and
re-read it I’ll wait). It’s like I just gotta see ‘em and let the beauty sink
in. It only gets worse as summer arrives with even more splendiferous blooms
till little Jacky Frost comes and murders all the pretties.
I’m not a fan of all the non-flowery crap (no offense, just
my opinion) that people love to “decorate” their yards with. What makes someone
think wood cutout shapes like polka dot fannies are just the best thing to put
in a flower bed? I thought about getting a small turtle, or a frog to put next
to one of the bird baths but I always talk myself out of it. I worry I’d trip
over them or they’d scare the birds. My husband says I don’t need a small
ceramic thing to trip over I can do that with just my feet (he’s right, I’m
very clumsy but how rude to remind me). The DH says they won’t care about anything
else around the bird baths, they’ll just poo on them like they do everything
else. Actually he said sh*t but I’m trying for a little class here and he said
that’s kind of a losing battle isn’t it? So I just stomped away threatening to
buy every turtle, frog, and maybe even garden gnomes at the garden store. He’s
still laughing ‘cause he knows I’m too cheap (I say frugle) to buy even one and
that garden gnomes freak me out. Gnomeo and Juliet didn’t help. Now we know
what they do when we’re not around, creepy...
No matter how pretty the flowers are I spend a lot of time
sneezing. Talk about a driving distraction! Nothing like driving when you’re
sneezing and I seldom sneeze just once. It’s more like 3 or more times. Damn
flowers, why do you have to be so pretty?
So am I a danger on the road? Kinda, maybe ... yeah, but I
promise to take my allergy meds and only looky-loo when I’m a passenger so everyone
around here will at least be safe from me. Can’t make any guarantees about all
the other crazies on the road.
