Fear of Driving - it's not the first time

 I'm developing a fear of driving. I used to have it but managed to deal with it but that seriously scary anxiety comes back every time I screw up while driving. Today was one of those days......I'm slow breathing, just trying not to go into full panic....... Ok, here's what happened. I pulled up to a stop sign and saw there was a truck behind me, looked to the left and then right, saw no cars but as I pulled out to turn left a car came speeding up the hill and lucky for me they were turning onto the road I was pulling out of.

I was so shocked I screamed and hit the gas to get out of the way just in case they weren't turning...........whoa, more panic..............................This corner scares me anyway. A few years ago I had another scare there and now all I can think of is that old saying that '3s a charm'. Could that mean that the 3rd time I won't be lucky?

I have no choice, I have to drive but I'll be going like a little old lady who drives under the speed limit. Yes, I'll be pulling over if possible to let those behind me go faster, I'm not stupid just scared.....

How I'm dealing with all this anxiety

 I've been putting off writing because of too much stress and depression. I mean how can someone who feels so much empathy for others not want to hide in a closet and only come out a few times a day? Oh right, I also have trouble with claustrophobia.

The DH isn't helping with all the doom scrolling. I now tell him to keep it all to himself, I just can't take it, the news is hard enough to watch, I really don't need more.

I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, most of the world is. Between the war in Ukraine and the people in this country who seem to be backing Russia I'm ready to become completely agoraphobia again.It's always an internal war with my brain and it can be horribly cruel to the rest of me.

More and more I'm turning to  embroidery and art classes to get thru all this hard stuff. My brain won't settle down enough for reading a book but following some's video or printed directions draws me in. I've also been watching some old movies. Today was 'Bell, Book, and Candle' and 'The Boy With Green Hair'. If you get a chance you should watch them. I found them on a digital station, MoviesTV.

I thought I'd share a few of my favorite links:

1. For embroidery - Creative Stitchery

2. For art - Every Tuesday Jenny Manno has a new you tube video.

Here's a link to some free classes at sketchbook-revival-2022 They will be starting on March 21 till April 18.

Another free class is Melanie River's Medicine Circle Retreat. It's starting March 25 and goes for a week.

Take care of yourselves and let's pray for peace everywhere.

Another sucky year ended and another started

Ok, so I said I'd come back and write but I didn't. Life screwed my family again in 2021. I lost 2 cousins, sisters, to covid,and a family friend who was close enough to be called Aunt. Of course we lost Matty, too. All in the last 4 months of sucky21. Just when you think the year's almost over and no people we know have died that's when 3 people died. All before Christmas. Just let me say no one in our family was celebrating especially after Rae and Lynney died a few days apart.

As for me and the DH, he ended up in the hospital in Sept. due to blood clots in a leg. I lost my job dog walking right before Christmas now that the owner has gone back to school at home. What away to end the year.

This year is pretty awful, too. The driveways at both houses look more like ice rinks than something to drive one. We had a few days of warm weather but they still have ice.

I'm also fighting the worst  allergies yet. I was sick with a sinus infection for 2 weeks and I'm finally feeling good enough to go out. We both had covid tests just in case the sinus was covid. They were negative (small yay!) We both had our booster shot so we're hoping it will stay away.

The DH has been Capt. Grumpypants again. His friend Greg keeps warning him that he's going to lose his job, that the people he's working for are going to get tired of his gripping about everything. Fine with me, that means we can move back to our house full time. I was glad I was there when I got sick so I was able to stay by myself and enjoy all the quiet. I spent a lot of time crocheting and watching RuPaul's Drag show on the laptop. I'm still catching up on older seasons. 

Oh, I was all set to buy a new computer but the Capt. beat me to it so now I have his old win 7.  Hey no more problems with blogger just a crappy narrow screen. I still LOVE my old xp and it's monitor. I just don't like the long narrow screens computers come with now. As for the one the Capt bought, he hates it. Now he wants the iPad he was going to buy but the store was out of them so he ended up with the Lenovo and says I'll probably end up with the new one, too. I think he just wants me to buy him an iPad. Good luck with that since I don't want his new laptop.

Take care and be kind to everyone even if they don't think like you do-----------