Another sucky year ended and another started

Ok, so I said I'd come back and write but I didn't. Life screwed my family again in 2021. I lost 2 cousins, sisters, to covid,and a family friend who was close enough to be called Aunt. Of course we lost Matty, too. All in the last 4 months of sucky21. Just when you think the year's almost over and no people we know have died that's when 3 people died. All before Christmas. Just let me say no one in our family was celebrating especially after Rae and Lynney died a few days apart.

As for me and the DH, he ended up in the hospital in Sept. due to blood clots in a leg. I lost my job dog walking right before Christmas now that the owner has gone back to school at home. What away to end the year.

This year is pretty awful, too. The driveways at both houses look more like ice rinks than something to drive one. We had a few days of warm weather but they still have ice.

I'm also fighting the worst  allergies yet. I was sick with a sinus infection for 2 weeks and I'm finally feeling good enough to go out. We both had covid tests just in case the sinus was covid. They were negative (small yay!) We both had our booster shot so we're hoping it will stay away.

The DH has been Capt. Grumpypants again. His friend Greg keeps warning him that he's going to lose his job, that the people he's working for are going to get tired of his gripping about everything. Fine with me, that means we can move back to our house full time. I was glad I was there when I got sick so I was able to stay by myself and enjoy all the quiet. I spent a lot of time crocheting and watching RuPaul's Drag show on the laptop. I'm still catching up on older seasons. 

Oh, I was all set to buy a new computer but the Capt. beat me to it so now I have his old win 7.  Hey no more problems with blogger just a crappy narrow screen. I still LOVE my old xp and it's monitor. I just don't like the long narrow screens computers come with now. As for the one the Capt bought, he hates it. Now he wants the iPad he was going to buy but the store was out of them so he ended up with the Lenovo and says I'll probably end up with the new one, too. I think he just wants me to buy him an iPad. Good luck with that since I don't want his new laptop.

Take care and be kind to everyone even if they don't think like you do-----------

Matty, gone but not forgotten

 

 I know I haven't been posting but I found it hard to find the inspiration to write after losing Matty in September. He started having seizures back in May and no matter the drugs the vet tried they were getting worse. It got to a point were one of us had to be with him all the time just in case he had one. When he was having multiples the vet did xrays and  found a tumor on his brain. That's when the DH decided it was time to let him go. I HATED it and was ready to keep taking care of him but the DH said I was making myself sick by not sleeping and he was afraid I'd go back to being agoraphobic. Soooooooooooo, we were both there for it and it was beyond awful. This wasn't the first time but I just wasn't ready to say goodbye to him.

You know I never knew dogs had seizures until we had another lab who had them. They started out so mild when he was a puppy we didn't realize what was going on till my Mom said he was staring off just like the foster girl my bro and sis-in-law were taking care of.  Then came my sweet Penny who we lost last year when she had a seizure and wouldn't come out of it so she had to be put to sleep. Now Matty baby, at least he was 8 not like Penny who was only 4. Of course all his idiot friends are , Hey I know where you can get a puppy, not realizing we need time to morn plus he's still training the little guy. I guess the DH will want to get one next year if he sees a litter he likes. I'm just hoping it will be healthy and that we've broke our string of bad luck with pets.

The new Jenny Lawson Book

 I’m a HUGE fan of Jenny. Not one who would stalk her or anything but I do lurk over at her blog. I don’t post, I just read.

So back to her new book, when my birthday came around last month the DH bought it for me! He also got me a new pair of the cutest Silver Forest ladybug earring, too. He knows what I like, well at least after I talked about both for 2 months. I’m just glad he took the hint since he hates to shop.

Isn’t the cover great? That’s the kind of monster I’d have, too, one that keeps killing all my plants and flowers. I am a member of the brown-green thumb club. Give me a plant and in 6 months to a year I’ll either kill it or that monster will.

Inside the book you’ll find 36 (yes, 36!!) chapters. Some are so funny you’ll spit whatever you’re drinking. The book should come with a notice stating it’s dangerous to drink or eat while reading this book. Other chapters will make you so sad you’ll want to head over to Jenny’s blog to let her know you care. Go ahead, she needs to know how much we appreciate her sharing her life with us.

She often writes about her doctors and all the meds she takes. It makes me stressed for her just reading about how hard everything is for her. I avoid doctors and it drives the DH crazy. He goes on and on about it but my reasoning is if I go he’ll find something wrong that will require tests or worse a hospital stay and that’s just not something my anxiety riddled brain (who hates the rest of me) will let me do.

It’s all worth reading even if you don’t have any mental illnesses which I don’t think after the year of covid many can say they don’t have some problem. Remember FOGO (fear of going out)? How many of you will be experiencing agoraphobia having to go back to work?

 

I never planned to but I did it........

The DH has been stuck in grumpy gear for ages. Everyone is noticing it. He even hung up on a friend who was extreme venting on politics. He has way too many friends from the other party who tend to be overbearing about it. Hobbies have brought them together but I worry this year of political crap may drive them apart. Well, he told the friend it was the phone but he told me the truth, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He’s gotten that way with most everyone. My brother finally took what my Mom always said, “never talk religion or politics with family and anyone you want to keep as a friend” as a good rule to follow. He too is from the other party and is a pastor so can be over bearing about everything.

Back to the DH, it used to be he’d be “nice” to everyone even if they were annoying him THEN when he’d get home he’d turn into Captain Grumpyman. Now though his attitude costume seems to be on all the time and Covid is not helping. Ok, now you know about the grumpy thing but here’s why I broke down and told him a HUGE secret.

We live in two houses. One is our home and the second is a house that comes with his job. We spend most of our time there but I spend a few nights at “home”. DH has to stay at the work house because he’s the caretaker of the property and has to be on call almost all the time. It’s stressful but it has allowed him to have something he always wanted, ducks & chickens. Well, at least the ones some predator hasn’t grabbed from the coop. He’s lost 7 so far which adds more stress. His outside camera has filmed us, the cat, dog, birds, and a family of 5 raccoons. I was surprised to find that they will kill birds.

Ok, I know I’ve gotten WAY off topic but I just wanted to explain just how stress makes the DH Captain Grumpyman. The secret came out when we were at our home. He came over to help me cut grass. We were sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch and he was explaining that he thinks we should sell our home since it’s hard for him to work at 3 houses. I was near tears because I don’t want to live full time at his work. He was saying things I couldn’t quite handle and out it came.............I told him about the suicide I planned a few years ago. I was never going to tell him since it was his attitude that put helped put me in the dark place. He was shocked, so much so that he’s not wearing his Captain Grumpyman attitude quite as much. At least something good came out of it.

Life has interrupted and my shoulder is hurting too much to continue. I pulled it last Tuesday and it’s still hurting, especially when I’m at the computer for long. So like always, take care and wear a mask for those you love and even for those you hate.

Time sure flies especially when blogger is involved

So here I am wishing I had more time to be on the computer. So you say why can’t you be on as long as you want? Thank you for asking curious reader! Because the DH will need me to start dinner with all it entails and after that I’m too tired to want to get back on so this is it. And it sucks.

So why do I only have half an hour? Between regular house chores and having to listen to him talk about stuff I don’t really need to hear about. Then he decided we should have some “fun” time. The result was not much just me time.

Then I got to blogger only to find they updated it again and I couldn’t find how to do a new post. Don’t like the new version. Don’t understand why they had to change it. Reminds me of the crap etsy did to their site. STOP fixing stuff that works.

I just don’t get the people who are whining about having to stay in, that they’re so bored. Stop being a bunch of babies and get some real hobbies!!!!!! Read some books, learn to cook, there’s so much to learn and do. I never have enough time in the day for everything I want to do. I have so many hobbies and books I hope to read that I’d need the days to be at least 72 hours instead of 24.

Ok, I’m done being a whiner (not good after I yelled about it) so wear a damn mask and find a hobby. But not one that makes things harder or sucks.

Here's a pic to make up for all the venting.

Yes I own chickens just like many of you are doing now. The DH got ours last year.
 

Blue Ain’t Just a Color...

I’m feeling blue... not the color blue, ‘cause then I’d be happy since it’s one of my fav colors. Maybe it’s more like sad or melancholy. Why you ask (you’re such a nice person I just know you’d wonder what’s wrong)?

It’s because I just read a book call ‘Voracious’ by Cara Nicoletti. Don’t get me wrong, the book is really good and I liked it a lot. It’s just that as I read my way thru the chapters about books she read as a child and the recipes they inspired it brought back memories of  how my parents were of the opinion that school was for learning how to read so why should they teach me. All that ended up doing was to teach me what it was to be embarrassed at a very early age and increase the panic attacks I had since I was a toddler. Yeah, I know that seems pretty early to say I was having severe panic but it’s true.

Once I did learn to read and had read every book in my classroom library (every class had their own shelves of books deemed correct for that grade) 3 or more times, my parents didn’t think to take me to the town library for more books to read. When I reached 2^nd grade the teacher decided to make getting a library card a homework assignment. I still remember my Dad taking me and having to lift me up because I was so short and the counter was so high. But the memory is bittersweet though ‘cause even though I now had something that I truly treasured I didn’t get to use it until much later.

I still can’t understand why these two people who read newspapers (sometimes 2 a day) and subscribed to a wide variety of magazines (usually 6-8) were so unsettled by the library they avoided it. I asked my Mom about it and got the impression it was the multitude of books and not knowing where to start. She also seemed to feel that she just wouldn’t fit in. For a fairly smart person with a great memory she has no confidence. As for Dad he always said the reading room where the newspapers and magazines were kept was too crowded. Truth is it usually was.

When I reached 7^th grade and was walking to town by myself I started going to the library, too. Soon I was calling for a ride home because the stack of books I checked out was so large. Dad and I developed a system of when he had errands around town, I’d go along to go the library and stay there till he came in and got me. To this day I love to go to any of the local libraries. Even after reading an e-book I’ll often look for the printed version at one of the libraries.

Whoa, I really got off track. Now the reason this book (Voracious) made me blue was because I never got to read some of the books she writes about as a kid. I tend to get very upset I never read Winnie the Pooh as a child. Think it’s really weird the school didn’t have it and it’s not in Cara’s book .  Anne of Green Gables and the Little House on the Prairies weren’t in the school library either and that’s really surprising too. Some of her favs I did read in school but it still makes me sad I missed so many good books back then.

One happy memory I do have was when my parents bought me Dr. Seuss books, the Bobbsey Twins (which only made me want a twin so much I made up one and called her Suzie. My parents thought this was hilarious), and a lot of others. But I’m still sad for all the ones I didn’t have as a child and reading them as an adult hasn’t helped this feeling go away.

I’m jealous of people like Cara who talk about going home as an adult to find their childhood books either still on shelves or packed away where they can get them. My Mom knowing that we were a bit better off than other family members was a big believer that when you out grew anything (clothes, toys, and books) you gave it away to someone who could use it. When I got married and she saw my husband still had many of his childhood books she apologized for giving mine away knowing I would have cherished them. It was nice but it didn’t fill the hole they left. I guess if I had a kid I would have bought all the books I loved and lots of new ones but I don’t so I didn’t.

I’m also jealous of kids whose parents read them to sleep. My Mom was more the “I’ll sing a song or we’ll recite nursery rhymes” type. She didn’t have the patience to read me to sleep. She knew a book would only keep me awake as I would want just one more chapter, then another, and another. Just like now when I’ll end up reading all night or until J. comes out and grumbles at me for still being up. This is why even though I love regular books my Nook comes in handy. With the light up screen I can read in the dark and if I hear him getting up I just put the nook face down and hope he thinks I fell asleep in the living room because I was too sick to come to bed (I have a lot of stomach distress). Crap, I’m an adult and I’m still acting like a kid with a flashlight under the covers. Wonder how old you have to be to stop feeling guilty about staying up reading when you should be in bed?

Just a few of my books. BTW, they're 2 deep on the shelves and there's more shelves with more books. Gotta stop going to library book sales.

A groundhog named Jill ... or maybe Jack

Here’s a short funny story. Oh, I know I do tend to write very long posts but this one is short, promise. At least it is for me.

I was out feeding the birds and refilling the birdbaths (gotta keep clean water in them to keep away the mosquitoes!). After doing the water I walked back to the house not realizing I forgot the small bucket I use to hold the containers of birdseed. Later I went over to look at the plants growing around one of the birdbaths and found the seed containers. Thinking it’s just one of those days when I’m way too lost in thought I took them back to the place where they should be, only to find the bucket wasn’t there either.

Worried some kid playing on the wooded lot behind our house may have taken it. It’s not hard to think that way since we’ve had a wire dog crate, rake, shovel, wood, and containers go missing, and then there’s the window broken in a truck we used to have. The lot’s big enough for paintball and kids from all over (yeah even ones who drive) used to play back there. But that’s not at all what happened to the little green bucket.

So I toodled back over and spotted the small groundhog that’s lives under our big shed duck under some stacked wood near by. That’s when I got the idea of maybe, just maybe, it could have taken it. Bending down and looking thru my legs (and VERY glad no one saw me) I spotted the bucket under the shed but not at the edge like I could have kicked it there. Oh, no, it was in almost the center!

Heading back to the house I started calling for the DH because I knew if I just got it out and then told him about our Jack or Jill he’d never believe me. He still didn’t want to believe I didn’t set it up that way ‘cause it’s just too weird, right? Lucky for me he recently bought a long handled tree trimmer with a hook on the end. It was just long enough to catch the handle of the bucket.

So I’m happy to get my bucket back but I can’t help but wonder just what did the groundhog have planned to do with it? hmmmm.......

Hey, you don’t have tell Me I’m late posting!

OK, I know I need to apologize for not posting for so many weeks. Sorry, sorry, sorry (hope that’s enough, ‘cause groveling is hard on the knees). When I first started this blog I planned on posting at least once a week but I got off schedule when my husband took time off from work after some surgery. In case you’re wondering, which is so nice of you, he’s fine and finally back to work (YAY!!!!!!).

I found some of you were a bit (ok more than a bit, so thank you for caring) worried after my post on the s-word. Especially since I don’t have comments set up here and I seldom check the email that goes with this blog. Some of you were clever enough to figure it out so again thank you for sending all the caring and love. Now a graphic of hearts and flowers and kissing squirrels just for you ‘cause you all were so sweet.

No ‘hope you did it’ or ‘you suck, so do it’ crap from you sweet people. Thank you again. It’s nice to know not everyone out here is a big mean troll.

Now back to the time sucking husband and why it’s been way too long since my last post. Every time I thought of something to write about I’d head for pen & paper. Why you ask, because I couldn’t get to my computer. Before I even had a chance to write he’d be yelling for me to come see something on TV or on the computer. He has his own laptop but always seems to be on my desktop when I’d like to use it. Why? Because he’s a big pain in the ass computer hog and will even have both going at the same time.

He’s really bad about wanting me to see some actors on old TV shows in hope that I’d remember them. It makes me even more insane (and I really can’t afford to get much more). Since I’ve spent a lot of time housebound I’ve watched a lot of TV, especially old shows and movies. I LOVE old movies from the 1930’s, especially Joan Blondell and Barbara Stanwick movies! So since I’m the designated authority (guess it’s nice to be the know-it-all about something around here) on TV and movies I MUST come when called and I MUST help figure out who the actor is and what else the DH may have seen him in. He only resorts to looking them up on the computer if I can’t figure it out first or if he wants to know more about them. He also likes to play a game called ‘Who do they remind you of?’ which also can add to my craziness. That game also applies to people we see when we are out together. That may explain why I prefer to shop by myself ... hmmmm

So you ask, didn’t he ever go out? So why not write then. My, you are inquisitive! Because when he went out I used that time for cleaning and doing other stuff around here. Now you want to know why not do that when he’s at home? Do you really want to know or are you just being polite? Because it’s a bitch dusting and vacing with someone giving (un-) helpful tips. Like, why are you doing it that way? Wouldn’t it be easier to do my way (meaning him of course)? Because we all know the DH is mister know-it-all about everything (but TV and movies) so his way has to be better than the way I’ve been cleaning since I was a kid (‘cause my Mom hated to clean so she got me to start doing it as soon as I could drag a canister vac around and spray the pledge).

Whew I didn’t realize I had so much pent it anger about it . . . . . . . . . . . . . this is me slowly breathing in and out trying to calm down and DH don’t tell me I’m doing it wrong. I’ve just about had enough with being bossed around. Like I told him, you’re not my parents and since my Dad is gone only my Mom gets to and he looks nothing like her (thank goodness, how creepy would that be.... shudder) even though he used to put on shoes she left at the back door when he came to visit when we were still dating. It wasn’t anything weird like putting on heels, but yeah it’s weird him wearing her shoes. What it was all about was that he’d have his own tie shoes off, need to go out to his car, and it was easier to slide on her slip-on shoes than tie on his. I know it’s still weird.

I just realized I got totally grumpy at you for nothing at all. I’m going to have to apologize again but this time I have to skip the knee bit since I now have a cat on my lap. So here it goes, I made this graphic because I know it’s just want Andy here wants to say!

Andy's actually laying in the dog's bed (which they hate but won't make him move because their noses know just how dangerous cat nails are). I would never make him stand up and pose like that .... unless he really wanted to....  wonder if there are any cat treats around here?