Another sucky year ended and another started

Ok, so I said I'd come back and write but I didn't. Life screwed my family again in 2021. I lost 2 cousins, sisters, to covid,and a family friend who was close enough to be called Aunt. Of course we lost Matty, too. All in the last 4 months of sucky21. Just when you think the year's almost over and no people we know have died that's when 3 people died. All before Christmas. Just let me say no one in our family was celebrating especially after Rae and Lynney died a few days apart.

As for me and the DH, he ended up in the hospital in Sept. due to blood clots in a leg. I lost my job dog walking right before Christmas now that the owner has gone back to school at home. What away to end the year.

This year is pretty awful, too. The driveways at both houses look more like ice rinks than something to drive one. We had a few days of warm weather but they still have ice.

I'm also fighting the worst  allergies yet. I was sick with a sinus infection for 2 weeks and I'm finally feeling good enough to go out. We both had covid tests just in case the sinus was covid. They were negative (small yay!) We both had our booster shot so we're hoping it will stay away.

The DH has been Capt. Grumpypants again. His friend Greg keeps warning him that he's going to lose his job, that the people he's working for are going to get tired of his gripping about everything. Fine with me, that means we can move back to our house full time. I was glad I was there when I got sick so I was able to stay by myself and enjoy all the quiet. I spent a lot of time crocheting and watching RuPaul's Drag show on the laptop. I'm still catching up on older seasons. 

Oh, I was all set to buy a new computer but the Capt. beat me to it so now I have his old win 7.  Hey no more problems with blogger just a crappy narrow screen. I still LOVE my old xp and it's monitor. I just don't like the long narrow screens computers come with now. As for the one the Capt bought, he hates it. Now he wants the iPad he was going to buy but the store was out of them so he ended up with the Lenovo and says I'll probably end up with the new one, too. I think he just wants me to buy him an iPad. Good luck with that since I don't want his new laptop.

Take care and be kind to everyone even if they don't think like you do-----------

The new Jenny Lawson Book

 I’m a HUGE fan of Jenny. Not one who would stalk her or anything but I do lurk over at her blog. I don’t post, I just read.

So back to her new book, when my birthday came around last month the DH bought it for me! He also got me a new pair of the cutest Silver Forest ladybug earring, too. He knows what I like, well at least after I talked about both for 2 months. I’m just glad he took the hint since he hates to shop.

Isn’t the cover great? That’s the kind of monster I’d have, too, one that keeps killing all my plants and flowers. I am a member of the brown-green thumb club. Give me a plant and in 6 months to a year I’ll either kill it or that monster will.

Inside the book you’ll find 36 (yes, 36!!) chapters. Some are so funny you’ll spit whatever you’re drinking. The book should come with a notice stating it’s dangerous to drink or eat while reading this book. Other chapters will make you so sad you’ll want to head over to Jenny’s blog to let her know you care. Go ahead, she needs to know how much we appreciate her sharing her life with us.

She often writes about her doctors and all the meds she takes. It makes me stressed for her just reading about how hard everything is for her. I avoid doctors and it drives the DH crazy. He goes on and on about it but my reasoning is if I go he’ll find something wrong that will require tests or worse a hospital stay and that’s just not something my anxiety riddled brain (who hates the rest of me) will let me do.

It’s all worth reading even if you don’t have any mental illnesses which I don’t think after the year of covid many can say they don’t have some problem. Remember FOGO (fear of going out)? How many of you will be experiencing agoraphobia having to go back to work?

 

My dog scared me and it was deja vu all over again

First I was going to put a picture at the top of the page but blogger is all , sorry we don't want your pictures right now try later. So I try later and it's still saying too bad. Ok, I'm paraphrasing but you get it don't you? I have a real hate relationship with blogger and if I hadn't done so much work with all the graphics and stuff I'd leave.

Back to my sweet Matty and why he scared me. Matty is an 8 year old black lab who other than having a delicate tummy has been healthy. On Tuesday he a had a seizure while we were at the house. I was watching FBI:Most Wanted when it happened. Now that show is like Saturday Night Live for me, brings bad memories. My Dad died while I was watching it and I haven't watched it since. Did finish watching the show on Paramount+ through Roku but kept my eyes on Matty most of the time. Talk about having too many panic attacks.

The DH was at the "play house" and wasn't answering his cell. That's normal since he often leaves it outside, in the car, in another room, even in a coat pocket but after calling 10 times with no answer I called the family he works for and Mrs. Dr. said she'd go down and check on him. Turns out he was asleep with the phone in the kitchen.

I wanted him to go to the vet asap but the DH wanted to wait a few days to see if he'd have another. He didn't but is definitely not acting like his sweet happy lab self. We did get an appointment on Tuesday but it will be a sucky weekend. All the rain and cold weather doesn't help either.

Why the deja vue? That's still hard for me to write about.....................................Yeah even harder than the 's' word.

I'll start with our first experience with seizures. We had another black lab named Mac who had minis at first when he was a pup but they became bigger and longer as he got older. By the time he was 9 he was having them every few hours and meds weren't working. We had to say goodbye to the big guy.

At the same time my bro and sis-in-law had a foster then adopted kid going thru the same thing but the meds for people were a LOT better than the ones for pets. She lived into her 20's but pneumonia took her from us.

Ok, here's the worse for me............... it's my baby girl Penny. She had 1 to 2 seizures a year, always when she was in heat (her period for non animal owners). The DH never thought they were serious enough to take her to the vet for but they did know about it when she went in for her shots. They just said keep an eye on  her and if they start happening more often to bring her in.  This is why I wanted Matty to go to the vet right away and not wait until it happened again. I mean what if this wasn't the first time? What if he had them when we were gone or asleep?.....................................................

I needed to pause, it's still too hard and it makes my heart hurt so bad

..........................................

Penny had her 2 seizures in Nov. right as she was finishing her heat cycle but a few weeks later she had 2 more and by Christmas she was having them about every 3 days.

..............................

Then came Jan. You all thought covid being found was bad but at the end of the month Penny started having seizures one after another. Nothing the vets did would stop them. We had 3 days of watching her with the last the most horrid. She did nothing but pace from one end of the kitchen to the other, drop to have a seizure, get up, and pace again till the next one hit. She was in a trance like state barely seeming like she recognized us. We tried to hold her to comfort both of us but only twice did she look into my eyes and and snuggle into my arms.

............................................................I needed to pause again, she was only 4.

At least when everything that could be done was done we were able to be with her at the end. The people at the vets were soooooooooo good to her and us. We had her cremated and when the DH picked her up he was also given a chiffon bag with a lock of her hair, a paw print in clay, and a card with all the staff's signatures. Just hoping we don't have to go thru this again because the vet still isn't letting owners in, even with shots and a mask. The DH whined but they said sorry, not yet and here in PA you can still do that.

BTW, Chewy sent roses when we canceled her dog food. Nice company, too bad Fed-x always delivers smashed boxes.

So now you see why all I did was screaming "nononono not again" when Matty was having his seizure. 

It's just too weird. We never even knew dogs had seizurse until Mac and now we have 2 more. I really think it's the flea and tick meds but the DH is worried it's the well water at the "play house" since Penny never had one until he started working there. We put most of the water thru a Birky water filter but not the dogs water. Well, we are now.

Oh, blogger decided to me nice and after working on this post for 3 days is letting me upload some pics. Here's Matty and the new pup, Micah at Christmas.

Back to where I belong ....... writing

 

 

I haven’t posted since last year because of working on a new book. I was also thinking about the choices I made in my life and those that needed to be made now that we were in covid-land. Knowing it was best to stay home made me worry that my agoraphobic tendencies would start their tempting but oh so destructive thoughts in my brain that hates me. I mean it can’t like the rest of me if it’s willing to cause SOOOOO much destruction. It becomes addictive to just stay home, to not have to go out and very possibly deal with sucky panic attacks. Lucky for me I could drive from home to the DH’s work house Jeez that sounds so Dickensian. I’m gonna call it the “play house” since the DH and furry kids love being there to play on all the acres of woods. In fact the cat, Andy, stays there full time now. So does the new pup the DH brought home last fall all the way from upper Michigan. He had a crazy trip going there during a time when covid was really bad in Michigan. I may have to write about it sometime because you’d never believe how much poo was involved (and it wasn’t dog poo). Oh, and in case you’ve read my other posts and know we also have a lab named Matty, he comes back and forth with me from home to the “play house”.

Ok, back to the subject of trying to avoid becoming housebound. I was basically saying it’s nice to have two houses so I could get out without going shopping and be worried about covid. I have a niece who got it last May and still feels awful. Our family lost two people to covid and one to cancer. My nephew got cancer and passed 12 weeks after diagnosis. The DH was helping a friend clean out a garage and offered to move the atv. Big mistake as he had never driven one. Backing up he hit a pile of wood and flipped it over on himself. He ended up with concussion, cracked ribs, stitches in his mouth, and legs so bruised he got blood clots. As for me, just the usual sprained ankle and ending up using crutches for a week after being clumsy.

Life has changed again now that most of the family and our friends got the covid shots. We got the Pfizer with only minor side effects like a sore arm and being tired. In fact no one I know had any worse side effects from either double shots but when I talk to people who refuse to get vaccinated they always say they know or have heard of people who’ve gotten really sick. I don’t know but I bet its fear after reading all the lies spread online. The internet has become a place of even more craziness, lies, and danger. I don’t even go online everyday any more. I just can’t take the hostility that’s growing everywhere online.

So anyway, the choices that are now on my mind have to do with getting back to this blog and keep my other writing going, too. I finally feel inspired to start writing here again. It’s so easy to indulge in being lazy about writing and instead just read and embroider. It comes down to doing the necessary things and sorting out the stuff that isn’t. I found it really does help calm me and have less panic.

Like many, I truly enjoyed this year of a quiet life, well except for all the awful stuff I wrote about a few paragraphs ago, and I’m not going back to a stress filled one that only ends in panic attacks. I’ve learned how to spread out all the work that needs to be done, that ½ hour gardening can be enough because more will mean my allergies will make me extra sick. The same goes for the time spent in the office/crafting room. If I can’t get inspired after 1 hour it’s time to move on to something else.

The hardest part of making these changes may be making the people in my life understand how important living a quieter life is to me. How just because they feel the need to be busy to the point of stress, that I’m just not going to fall back into that way of living again. I refuse to thought of as a failure because I figured out what works for me.

BTW, have you ever heard the term FOGO? It’s short for fear of going out. Aren’t we lucky the press has come up with a new shorthand for agoraphobia?