I never planned to but I did it........

The DH has been stuck in grumpy gear for ages. Everyone is noticing it. He even hung up on a friend who was extreme venting on politics. He has way too many friends from the other party who tend to be overbearing about it. Hobbies have brought them together but I worry this year of political crap may drive them apart. Well, he told the friend it was the phone but he told me the truth, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He’s gotten that way with most everyone. My brother finally took what my Mom always said, “never talk religion or politics with family and anyone you want to keep as a friend” as a good rule to follow. He too is from the other party and is a pastor so can be over bearing about everything.

Back to the DH, it used to be he’d be “nice” to everyone even if they were annoying him THEN when he’d get home he’d turn into Captain Grumpyman. Now though his attitude costume seems to be on all the time and Covid is not helping. Ok, now you know about the grumpy thing but here’s why I broke down and told him a HUGE secret.

We live in two houses. One is our home and the second is a house that comes with his job. We spend most of our time there but I spend a few nights at “home”. DH has to stay at the work house because he’s the caretaker of the property and has to be on call almost all the time. It’s stressful but it has allowed him to have something he always wanted, ducks & chickens. Well, at least the ones some predator hasn’t grabbed from the coop. He’s lost 7 so far which adds more stress. His outside camera has filmed us, the cat, dog, birds, and a family of 5 raccoons. I was surprised to find that they will kill birds.

Ok, I know I’ve gotten WAY off topic but I just wanted to explain just how stress makes the DH Captain Grumpyman. The secret came out when we were at our home. He came over to help me cut grass. We were sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch and he was explaining that he thinks we should sell our home since it’s hard for him to work at 3 houses. I was near tears because I don’t want to live full time at his work. He was saying things I couldn’t quite handle and out it came.............I told him about the suicide I planned a few years ago. I was never going to tell him since it was his attitude that put helped put me in the dark place. He was shocked, so much so that he’s not wearing his Captain Grumpyman attitude quite as much. At least something good came out of it.

Life has interrupted and my shoulder is hurting too much to continue. I pulled it last Tuesday and it’s still hurting, especially when I’m at the computer for long. So like always, take care and wear a mask for those you love and even for those you hate.

Is it me or is the new blogger awful?

Maybe it's just that I use an old computer running win xp but I can't get the new version of blogger to work. I hope I don't have to use the DH's newer laptop every time I want to post. Since he's now home all the time he's seldom off of it. I guess I'll have to use my phone.

 Ok, this is just too weird. I can't get the new blogger to fully load when using chrome but it works when I use firefox. Still not a fan of it but at least now I know I'll have to switch over to post. Which is a pain since I'm a chrome user even though I can't update it anymore because of my old winxp. I saved this as a draft, closed chrome, opened firefox and ta-da everything loaded correctly when I went to the new blogger. How dumb is it when I can't get blogger to work in their own program?

Most who have anxiety HATE change and I'm no different (well maybe a little since I treat change like it's something to be ignored). I just can't cope with major things like this new blogger and even getting a new computer. You may not consider this major but to me it is. We all have "major stuff" and this is one of mine. Panic attacks begin when I realize I'll have to replace all the programs I need, not to mention buying and installing them. Then comes having to learn the new versions of programs because there's always tons of changes. I mean, come on, why make so many changes that don't really improve anything, just make it harder to use? 

 Wonder if there’s a group on facebook for people who want to vent about hating change? I may have to look into it, or maybe not. Hearing about changes other people hate could transfer them to my stupid brain (the old Pinky) and give me more things to panic about. I mean, who wants to have panic attacks because they changed the label on Mrs. Dash. I don’t but still I don’t like the new label. I told the DH I was going to transfer the new Mrs. Dash into the old bottle and he said I was being ridiculous, so I just removed the old label and glued it over the new. There all fixed! :)

 

Dogs and Pee, & why I should listen to me!

Surprise! I’m posting again! Just had to because I really need to vent about what happened.

The neighbors decided to go to the beach today and asked us to let their 5 dogs out to pee in the afternoon. I hadn’t been around the dogs for months so they were VERY excited to see me. I was excited, too. I missed the boys but after losing Penny this past winter (she was only 4 and it was VERY bad) I had a hard time being around them since they are the same breed. It made me way too sad.

So back to why I’m venting, it’s all about what I used to call my PinkyBrain and how it was always screwing me. Well, it did it today. I knew, really knew I should change out of my good sandals into sneakers but the DH said he’d do all the walking, I could just sit and visit with them. HUGE and I mean HUGE mistake as the more submissive of the bunch pee’d on my foot while getting scratched.

If I’d really listened to the good side of my brain I wouldn’t be hoping this sandal will dry after I scrubbed it with FelsNaptha soap. It’s sitting out in the sun but I’m worried it won’t be dry by tomorrow when I need to wear them while shopping.

You may wonder why I just don’t wear something else. It’s because I sprained my ankle and with the leg wrap and how hot it is these are my best choice. Again with the PinkyBrain crap. I saw them for sale again back in May and thought, “Gee, I should buy another pair. It wouldn’t hurt to have a second pair since I like how they fit.” But the crap side of my brain talked me out of it and when I went back the next week they were sold out of my size.

I’m going to Dunhams tomorrow and see if they have something similar in stock. Probably not since it’s so late in the summer and stores just don’t have the stock like usual because of covid.

Here’s a pic of my baby girl. I can’t post about how she died. It was too awful and I miss her soooooooo much.

Time sure flies especially when blogger is involved

So here I am wishing I had more time to be on the computer. So you say why can’t you be on as long as you want? Thank you for asking curious reader! Because the DH will need me to start dinner with all it entails and after that I’m too tired to want to get back on so this is it. And it sucks.

So why do I only have half an hour? Between regular house chores and having to listen to him talk about stuff I don’t really need to hear about. Then he decided we should have some “fun” time. The result was not much just me time.

Then I got to blogger only to find they updated it again and I couldn’t find how to do a new post. Don’t like the new version. Don’t understand why they had to change it. Reminds me of the crap etsy did to their site. STOP fixing stuff that works.

I just don’t get the people who are whining about having to stay in, that they’re so bored. Stop being a bunch of babies and get some real hobbies!!!!!! Read some books, learn to cook, there’s so much to learn and do. I never have enough time in the day for everything I want to do. I have so many hobbies and books I hope to read that I’d need the days to be at least 72 hours instead of 24.

Ok, I’m done being a whiner (not good after I yelled about it) so wear a damn mask and find a hobby. But not one that makes things harder or sucks.

Here's a pic to make up for all the venting.

Yes I own chickens just like many of you are doing now. The DH got ours last year.
 

Caffeine ------

As I was saying: Caffeine, can’t live with it and can’t do without it; or should that be: shouldn’t have it but can’t function without it?

As anyone who has panic attacks knows, we SHOULD NOT have caffeine. The nasty, yummy stuff can set off heart palpations and the next thing you know its panic attack time. I’d rather it was Morris Day & the Time or even ancient repeats of “It’s Howdy Doody Time”. But instead of dancing or laughing it’s slowing my breathing to calm down. BTW, why would anyone name a puppet from a child’s tv show after poo? I mean, what were they thinking? Or .... did poo get named doody after the show cause it wasn’t very good? I’ve never seen an entire episode so I can’t honestly say whether I think it just might be or not. Google did not help, not that it always does.

So any way, caffeine and I have a real love-hate relationship. I love it and it hates me. I have the same problem with other foods but back to caffeine ..... at least after I sip some more iced chocolate coffee (super strong please, yummmmmm).

Days begin with iced coffee whirled with dark chocolate almond milk and ice in my old Nutri-bullet when it’s hot out(ok, not only when it’s hot) or hot Irish or English breakfast tea served black with some stevia when it’s cold. I love these really strong teas! I then switch over to iced tea though I do work some water in, too. I’m trying to switch out some of the tea for seltzer. Thank goodness I love bubbly water :)

I have worked hard to give up Coke (the soda, not the drug though to some people drinking coke all day it kinda is a drug), but giving up tea and coffee, no way. I know you’re thinking why not decaf? I’m not a mind reader I’ve just heard it all before. The DH complains about it all the time. He’s a “good boy” who drinks 2 cups of ½ & ½ coffee a day and decaf tea. I NEED the caffeine to keep me going. I’m not a sound sleeper and wake up all night. I’ve tried ear plugs but worried I’d miss the phone or something important like the dog barfing. DH can sleep through most anything but me fussing so I spend some nights on the couch. Speaking of being sleepy I’m off to get a refill before I zone out again. It’s taken me way too long to write this post.

Stay safe, avoid crowds (like agoraphobics need to hear that), and WEAR a damn mask!

and neither am I, so no

I'm still not opening the blog to posts from readers

'cause I know there are some out there that are too trollish.

There's way too much hate swirling about and I'm

not equipped to deal with it.

I'm baaaaack - - - - -

Don't be scared, it's just me, Willow.

I know it's been years since my last post. Life really slammed me hard when my Mom died. I gave up writing and lost my funny. I just didn’t want to think so I read a lot and played online games way too much.

Eventually I got tired of games (a very huge surprise) and after being disappointed in 4 new books from 4 series I had been reading, I gave up books, too (a huge but sad surprise).

So what did I replace them with? Thanks for wondering! It’s embroidery! First I came across posts that linked to EGA while spending (wasting) time at Pinterest. I’m really not happy with Pin anymore. I keep setting it so videos don’t auto play but every time I come back to the site there they are, slowing everything down and playing stuff I have NO interest in. The site’s becoming crap.

Back to embroidery, BTW thanks for letting me have a small vent. Have to admit I lost interest in EGA since the monthly projects have been cross stitch and I’m SOOOOOOOOO over it like years ago when I was a kid. Now it’s a site called www.pintangle.com that's got my interest. There’s a weekly post with new stitches every Tue, though since it’s in Australia and I’m in the US east coast I get the post on Monday afternoon. It’s been fun learning new stitches and using them on an old crazy quilt I started when I belonged to the local quilt guild. I quit when I found I couldn’t fit in.

 

I’m not much of a joiner or friend maker. Guess it’s from having agoraphobia since I was a child. Plus the older I get the less patience I have for people who aren’t nice to others. I am, even when I don’t like someone. You know that ancient golden rule (bible) saying, “Treat Others Like You Want Others To Treat You”. It was one of my Mom’s favs. She really should have had it embroidered on something. So, anyway it’s kind of been the way I’ve always lived. It’s like karma, if you’re shitty then that’s what gets thrown back at you. I’m going to embroider some of these sayings, maybe I’ll share them online. I did find some pandemic type embroideries. Have a look at: www.heislerscreativestitchery. There’s a new one each month. If you’re religious then try www.elefantz. I’m not so much but I like her freebies, plus I can change the text ones. Another embroidery site I like is www.pinsandneedles.com.

I will admit I did find a new game called Lily’s Garden but only play it on my phone. If you’ve read any of my past posts you know how much I HATE phones but thanks to Mom I did get one. Though to be honest I mostly use it to play the game.

That’s enough for a first post. I'm working on finding my funny again. Stay safe, avoid crowds (like agoraphobics need to hear that),and WEAR a damn mask!